Hate Me
by firegurl197
Summary: Gilbert comes to notice he's been annoying Roderich for the past few years, and wants to stop making him upset. But Roderich misses the feeling. Massive fluff one-shot PruAus PrussiaxAustria Human names used.


_Hate Me_

_"Hey Gil, it's Roderich. You sounded pretty upset last night and I just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Um, call me back..?"_

Gilbert let the voicemail run twelve times before he even tried to process the message. Roderich had called while he was in the shower, and he didn't hear the phone ringing. Not like Gilbert would've gotten out of the shower to answer it, after sitting in the bottom of the bathtub still in his clothes with the burning water making it almost impossible to tell the tears of pain from the others of guilt and misery.

The last few nights Gilbert had spent hanging around the bar, drinking without a word, crying silently in ally ways when all the bars had been shut down. Most nights he'd stand across the street from Roderich's house, staring into the empty windows. Gilbert would sit and cry on the side of the road, completely missing it when Roderich would look out at him from his window, trying to get his attention.

One of these nights, in the pouring rain, Gilbert took his normal place on the curb, crying as he usually did. At this point Roderich grabbed his umbrella and went out to see him. Gilbert saw black shiny boots wading through deep puddles in the glimmering moonlight before he even knew it was Roderich.

"What are you doing?" Roderich asked quizzically, holding the umbrella over both their heads, "Normally you'd be busting into my house and annoying Elizabeth and I."

Gilbert look up, all color had drained from his eyes, as if the normal sparkly crimson had been covered by a hazy fog,

"I'll never understand you." He whispered, rubbing his bloodshot eyes with a fist,

Roderich was annoyed by this remark for a reason he didn't know, "What's there not to understand?" He snapped, glaring down at the person who he used to be closest with.

Gilbert jumped up, a burning anger in his eyes, "You just don't GET IT SPECS!" He lifted his arms to shove Roderich at full force in the chest, but stopped a few mere inches away when he saw the fear cross Roderich's violet eyes as he braced himself for impact.

The anger drained from Gilbert's eyes, and he began shaking, lifeless eyes now full of guilt and tears,

"I-I'm sorry..." He whispered, sitting back down.

Roderich, (Although grateful he hadn't been pushed down and had his suit ruined) was confused greatly but this new attitude of Gilbert, who was usually so full of himself in every way.

"Please, Gilbert," Roderich said, sitting down next to him slowly, "Explain to me what's on your mind."

Gilbert sobbed for a few more moments before finding the right words to answer, "You...You should hate me... But you act l-like you don't... I-I can't tell...Anymore..."

"Gilbert..." the other man sighed, "...I don't hate you..."

The albino looked up with the smallest spark of hope in his eyes, but it managed to burn itself out as fast as it had been alit.

"No, you're lying." he said, standing up once more, "It's okay, I'll just-"

"Gilbert." Roderich said, standing up next to him and gripping his rough and tattered sleeve. He tried to pull the depressed man into a hug, but was shrugged off violently,

"No Specs! I'm sorry, okay! It's not your fault!" he yelled, more tears streaming down is red cheeks, "It's okay! I won't bother you anymore, I'm sorry.

"You hate me, I get it now. I'll let you live how you always wanted to, peacefully. I'm sorry I messed everything up these last few years, but here's the chance to get that all back. I'm sorry, goodbye."

Gilbert turned on his heels and ran into the night, rain pouring and now with the thunder clouding his thoughts. He didn't want to look back, seeing that beautiful face was what always dragged him back even when he knew he shouldn't go. He just ran. To where? He didn't know. He just ran, ignoring the pain in chest and the burning in his legs. All he knew was that he couldn't go back, no matter how much he wanted to. All he would do was mess everything up, make Roderich so angry that he _kicked_ him out personally.

He didn't want Roderich to hate him, so he decided to leave, and just rid everyone of his trouble. He wanted Roderich to be happy, even if he himself couldn't be.

Now Gilbert was home. The small apartment in what most people called, "The bad part of town."

He didn't mind though, after all, for the past four days he'd locked himself in his room, getting calls from Roderich, his younger brother, and two best friends. But he never answered for any of them, or called them back.

Roderich was the most frequent to call, leaving plenty of messages to make Gilbert cry harder, and feel even more guilty.

"Gilbert! Pick up this phone for Chopin's sake!" he said, "I can tell you're there listening to these because if you weren't they would all just pile up and your inbox would be full! And it's not! Answer me!"

Gilbert ignored the messages, thinking that Roderich would give up and leave, and go be happy. He didn't want to worry him, but somehow had managed to do just the opposite of that. Gilbert was calm though, still assured Roderich would give up soon, until, when the sun was setting he called again, leaving yet another message,

"Gilbert. I'm coming over." and that was it.

Gilbert immediately panicked, dropping his styrofoam cup of asian noodles, he ran and locked the door, he even leaned against the cold wood just in case Roderich brought some way of picking the lock.

A few minutes later Gilbert jumped and almost yelped with the loud and angry banging on the front door. He looked out the peephole, seeing a frustrated and messy Austrian standing in front. His hair was tangled and he looked like he hadn't slept in well, four days.

"Gilbert... I can see your eye through the peephole..." Roderich sighed, "Open up! I need to talk to you!"

"I can't do that." Gilbert said, checking again that the door was locked, "Sorry Specs..."

He walked away from the door, ignoring the screaming and pounding from Roderich. But suddenly, after three minutes of all the loud noise, it all stopped. Gilbert sighed, glad that he had finally given up and left. Gilbert curled up in a thick blanket on his bed, and put on his headphones, and lost himself in his music.

His headphone were set on max, he hoped to make himself deaf, so he wouldn't be able to talk to anyone anymore. He didn't hear the sound of the lock being undone, the leather dress shoes on the wood floor, or when an angry voice called out for him.

He only noticed when Roderich ripped off his blanket, scowling at him deeply. Gilbert fumbled to remove his headphones, his hands shaking in fear.

"H-how did you get in?" He asked, flabbergasted.

"You have a spare key outside, remember?" Roderich said, shaking his head at the others density.

"Right..." Gilbert sighed. He cautiously made eye contact with Roderich's elegant violet eyes, which were also rimmed with tears.

"Don't...Don't you EVER do that again!" He said, trying to wipe his tears away, "You have any idea how worried I was?"

Roderich began cry silently, his body shaking while tears slowly rolled down his face.

"Roddy I-" Gilbert said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, only to be tackled into a tight hug. Roderich cried onto Gilbert's shirt, holding him as tightly as his arms would let him. Gilbert returned the hug, breathing slowly and calmly in Roderich's smooth and soft brown hair.

"I-I don't hate you..." Roderich whispered, "In fact... Ich liebe dich...ja..."

Gilbert's heart raced, he just couldn't help it, he was so happy. He looked down and pressed their foreheads together, holding his trademark smirk that he'd thought he'd never use again.

"You know what Specs?" He said with his grin broadening, "I think I love you too."


End file.
